Holy $#!T! The homestretch!

Gosh, it seems nearly impossible that my pre-op journey is almost over. I remember thinking -- at my surgical consult -- that six months would take FORRRRRRREVVVVVVEEEEER!!!!! I was almost angry with CIGNA for requiring such a ridiculously long supervised diet. Boy has that changed. I'm practically grateful for that time now. I honestly don't know if I would be anywhere near as prepared as I am, if I had been able to have the surgery within, say, 3 months...

I am thankful for my parents and my (sexy!) husband for supporting my decision to make this radical change. For never once second-guessing me, and always hugging me when I need it. For always cheering me on, even if I've only lost one pound in a month.

I am thankful for finding the ThinnerTimesForum. A wonderful community of men and women who have had all types of WLS, who open up their hearts and souls to painstakingly account for every ounce of pain, every NSV (non-scale victory), every hurdle, every failed marriage, every heartbreak, and every goal met. It's truly inspiring, and everyone there is a winner (as well as a "loser!")

I am thankful for Holly -- my strong, IRL friend of 7 years -- who had the sleeve surgery last year, and has patiently answered all of my ridiculous, paranoid, bizarre, and random questions with grace. Answering my panicked text messages about gas, poop, vitamins, extra skin, and skinny sex without the slightest hint of annoyance. Thank you so much, Holl, I love you!

I am so thankful for the few friends I've chosen to tell about this, because I know they wont judge me, or tell me I'm bound to fail. Realistically, I know that after the surgery, some friendships will not last. I've read about them on the forums, and some people just can't handle such life changes. So... to Syd (who helped me make the yummy fruit kabobs above), Ally, Tracy, Christine, Reed, Natasha, Soda Pop and Blondie: thanks for being my cheering section. For not pressuring me one way or another. For just "being there" through thick (heh!) and thin. Love you fools! :-D

I have ONE more nutritionist appointment before I can submit to insurance. I have gone to see the bariatric psychologist, had my upper GI sonogram, done the blood panels, gotten a letter of necessity from my PCP, and completed a sleep apnea study (I should have taken a picture of the helmet I had to sleep in!). This month, I will be attending two support groups and have an endoscopy, so by the time my last NUT appointment rolls around, I will have EVERYTHING complete. I'm pretty proud of myself for getting it all done. I LIKE to think I'm organized, but I'm a Gemini with self-diagnosed ADHD, so shit doesn't always keep my attention for very long. So this is a pretty big feat for me. I like being able to say I'm proud of myself. Especially when I know deep down I haven't half-assed it.

Thanks for reading! You haven't heard the last from me :-D

(PS -- I lost SIX pounds this month :-) That brings the total to 22 pounds lost!)

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"I'm really proud of you"...

Last night, my best friend and his wife were visiting, and I told them about my weight loss surgery plans. I'm pretty cautious about telling people, I'm afraid that people wont understand and start giving me unwelcome advice or opinions that will leave me upset, or -- god forbid -- I find a way to sabotage myself, and chicken out on the procedure... It's very unlikely, but I would feel (almost) like a failure if I were to tell dozens of people my plans, and then no follow through.

So, last night I manned up and told my friends. They were so happy for me. They listened attentively, and I found myself quite excited as I spelled out the procedure, and listed off all the appointments I've had already, and what still needs to be done before insurance approves surgery. After what felt like I'd verbally vomited on them for hours, I came up for air and waited nervously for their feedback. My BFF is not a man who is ever at a loss for words, it's sometimes hard to get him to shut up lol... He stammered for a few seconds, and then simply said "I'm really proud of you".

I'm really lucky to have such a great support system, supportive family and friends :-)

Then we went out with another couple for sushi. We had a BOATLOAD of fun ;-)

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