Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Emotional Eating - killing the urge!

Last night, after a debate with my husband over money, I retreated to my best friend in the whole house - food. Last night it was a Tofutti Cutie ice cream sandwich bar, it's not as bad as other sweets are, but that's not my concern at the moment.

I've spent too many years of my life literally FEEDING my depression. It's not a secret that I severely hate confrontation, and often during a debate or argument, I prefer to give in (whether I'm right or wrong) than to reach an agreement or end. I get to a point emotionally where I physically can't stand the strain, and I end up blowing up, surrendering or shutting down.

Luckily, last night wasn't an issue that led to fighting, crying, or binging. I was simply sad and depressed, and I promptly went to the freezer to make myself feel better.

I worry that I may not be able to break this comforting habit after my surgery. I have been doing great over the past month in terms of choosing much more wisely than ever before, I've lost a few pounds, and I'm definitely proud of myself. But this is way more than I can physically control. I have had dozens of therapy sessions to address my emotional state of mind. And while physically I'm strong enough to keep making positive, healthy choices, I'm fearful that my emotions will beat me in the end.

Does anyone else feel like this? They must... right? Maybe once that crap is out of my house, I wont have the option to "emotion eat"... I dunno...

It's probably worth talking to my bariatric LCSW about it. Le sigh...
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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Inspire Me!


Soooo, I've started looking at other weight loss surgery blogs for inspiration. I am actually pleasantly surprised by the amount of quality personal journeys I've been able to find! I hope that one day I'll be an inspiration to someone just starting out also!

Here are some of my favorites:

And of course my GREATEST VSG inspiration in the world Holly!
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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Under construction

I'm working in my new blog layout. Please bear with me :-)
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When I'm Thin ...

I work for a wine import / export company, and there are literally hundreds of bottles in the office at any given time. I don't work in the warehouse, but the creative team and wine planning team always have bottles perched and grouped on tables, desks, the floor, shelves, etc... and one day, when I'm thin, I will be able to walk to the bathroom without all of the bottles shaking and knocking together... My office is so quiet, you could literally hear a pin drop, and when I walk to the bathroom I'm VERY self-conscious about the noise I make. Obviously I'm not the only one this happens to, but I guess my emotions are amplified because of my weight problem.

So HERE'S to no more shaken bottles!!!
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Sunday, February 12, 2012

How much have you lost?

I joined the ThinnerTimesForum, which is a GREAT resource for anyone considering, planning, or post-weight loss surgery. I found a member on the board, and his blog has been very inspiring.

One of his posts has a great equivalency to see in "real-life" how to relate the weight you lost... it's incredible... 

**UPDATED 2/16/2012: LucasWithTheWeightOff.com is currently down. Here is the list:  **

1 pound = a guinea pig
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Mac Book Pro
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= an average gallon of paint
11 pounds = an average house cat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs (or 120 eggs)
16 pounds = a Sperm Whale’s brain
20 pounds = a car tire
22 pounds = 200 golf balls
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
26 pounds = average weight of a Koala Bear
30 pounds = average vacuum cleaner
31 pounds = average amount of manure produced by a horse each day
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weighs more than his heart!)
65 pounds = Lotus Mk3 – Aluminum Body Shell
68 pounds = 40” SONY Bravia Widescreen TV
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
110 pounds = a mature Rough Fell ewe (a breed of sheep, originating in the UK, I had to Google it!)
117 pounds = the average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopaedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
140 pounds = the average amount of sugar a human consumes in one year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = a Vespa Moped
249.1 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football linesman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony

* weight loss met
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Breakfast of {skinny} champions!

This morning I tried a sample of Strawberry Bariatric Advantage High Protein Meal Replacement shake, that my nutritionist gave me. I used skim milk instead of cold water to mix it up, in my brand new 28oz Blenderbottle. It worked GREAT. I can't wait to have my next shake! My nutritionist told me when I use my blender to use "pulse" not "blend" because the shake will get almost cake-batter like. So when I saw the Blenderbottle on Amazon.com, I couldn't wait to try it!

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I'm down 8 pounds in 9 days. WOO HOO!
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Monday, February 6, 2012


I was just surfing my new favorite website, Pinterest, and found an awesome photo that a friend posted.

Take a look. You'll probably be surprised by a few things! I was actually craving chocolate a few minutes ago, so I ate 10 mini almonds (the suggested serving size) and it completely cured my urge to shovel my face full of sugary goodness. I'm gonna print this out and put it on my fridge!

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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Lose It!


I've been tracking my food/caloric intake for 6 days now. I just LOVE this app.

It's not just the food tracking that makes this app great, there is also a member forum, where you can meet others just like yourself... trying to lose weight, struggling... succeeding... all of the above.

It's a great resource for ANYONE. I recommend everyone download it :-D

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Friday, February 3, 2012

Damn you, self-facing camera!!

iPhone users, do you ever turn on your camera, and find yourself staring back into your face at a VERY unflattering angle? Yeah. I took one last night when i was trying to sneak a few shots of my snoozing dog. Normally I would have just turned the camera around, but since I am on a weight loss mission, I figured, "Meh, what the hell, just another to add to the thousands of photos I look like shit in." ;-)

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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Appointments #2 and #3

Well, this week I had my consult with Dr. Tim and Dr. Dan. I actually had to go to Dr. Dan's office twice this week. When I called to book my consultation, they assumed I was "choosing" their team, so I met with the program's Nurse Practicioner and Nutritionist before I even got to speak to Dr. Dan. That kind of annoyed me. I felt like they were rushing through the process to get to the next appointment, but that could have just been my insecurity and nervousness projecting onto them.

Anyway, so after what feels like a full week of constant driving around to appointments, I'm going with Dr. Tim... I really felt at home in his office, and not a faceless surgery. I'm actually really excited to have this team on my side. I've starting using the Lose-It! app for iPhone, tracking everything I eat and drink. The app even has a barcode scanner function, so I find myself buying or eating things that I can scan, just for my own amusement. LOL! It's incredible to see that I'm actually eating far less calories per day than I thought, and even FAR more less than I actually should. I guess that is one of my big problems. Not eating enough, not eating enough of the right stuff, and of course, sitting on my @$$ at work for 9-10 hours, then going home and being too tired to do anything other than -- again -- sit on my @$$ until it's time for bed.

Yesterday, however, I used all my extra calories for alcohol. I had three White Russians, 2 Miller Lights, and 4 fluid oz of Jim Beam. I don't usually drink that much, but I had to put my dog of 15 years down, and wanted to drink away my sorrows. It definitely worked. One thing that scared me this morning was my husband -- a 6'4" guy whose is only overweight in his belly -- had a killer hangover and I didn't. I've finally surpassed my husband in weight, and was able to handle my liquor better because I have more fat to absorb it. That's really terrifying. I'm so glad I've entered the WLS program, and can get my life back in order... get my life BACK really.
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