Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Emotional Eating - killing the urge!

Last night, after a debate with my husband over money, I retreated to my best friend in the whole house - food. Last night it was a Tofutti Cutie ice cream sandwich bar, it's not as bad as other sweets are, but that's not my concern at the moment.

I've spent too many years of my life literally FEEDING my depression. It's not a secret that I severely hate confrontation, and often during a debate or argument, I prefer to give in (whether I'm right or wrong) than to reach an agreement or end. I get to a point emotionally where I physically can't stand the strain, and I end up blowing up, surrendering or shutting down.

Luckily, last night wasn't an issue that led to fighting, crying, or binging. I was simply sad and depressed, and I promptly went to the freezer to make myself feel better.

I worry that I may not be able to break this comforting habit after my surgery. I have been doing great over the past month in terms of choosing much more wisely than ever before, I've lost a few pounds, and I'm definitely proud of myself. But this is way more than I can physically control. I have had dozens of therapy sessions to address my emotional state of mind. And while physically I'm strong enough to keep making positive, healthy choices, I'm fearful that my emotions will beat me in the end.

Does anyone else feel like this? They must... right? Maybe once that crap is out of my house, I wont have the option to "emotion eat"... I dunno...

It's probably worth talking to my bariatric LCSW about it. Le sigh...


Anonymous said...

I have been collecting my hobbies around me when I get that urge. Jewelry-making has been my favorite so far. I can quickly pull out a couple of IKEA containers and start doing something with my hands that requires all my attention. That works for me!

SL in CT

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